Today marks the third day of dblogweek for 2017 and today's topic is "The Blame Game" one thing I've been fortunate enough to not have to deal with personally.
Having diabetes often makes a visit to the doctor a dreaded experience, as there is invariably bad news of one kind or another. And sometimes the way the doctor talks to you can leave you feeling like you’re at fault. Or maybe you have a fantastic healthcare team, but have experienced blame and judgement from someone else in your life – friend, loved one, complete stranger. Think about a particularly bad instance, how that person talked to you, the words they used and the conversation you had. Now, the game part. Let’s turn this around. If you could turn that person into a puppet, what would you have them say that would leave you feeling empowered and good about yourself? Let’s help teach people how to support us, rather than blame us!Blame is interesting, according to the definition that comes up by googling "blame" the action "blame" means to assign responsibility for a fault or wrong, with synonyms being condemn, accuse, incriminate, and find/consider guilty. All of these words are pretty harsh, and not useful for any productive conversation.
|Just googling words, getting definitions|
The question might be, who really is to blame for diabetes? Specifically my diabetes? or anyone's diabetes? I still consider my trek into this disease to be a sheer mystery, and all conspiracy theories are welcomed, but will likely be ignored (no offense, I've heard them all, trust me). I've kind of learned to ignore what people who I don't know, and who don't live with me say to me about how I should "better take care of myself" as I am the only one who lives with my particular instance of diabetes. Like I said on day 1, I am the one who has the experience, I'm the one with the know-how for dealing with the craziness that I deal with on a regular basis. You can't force any blame on anyone, and you especially can't allow people to blame you for a day or two that goes bad, if it's consistent and you don't reach out, that becomes a problem.
I know there are standard variations that cause day-to-day fluctuation, and it's hard to figure out what caused it, but there's no need to assign blame. If you think of everything as a learning experience and a means to improve in the future why it happened and who caused the problem really is insignificant in all ways, shapes, and forms. At the same time, as an adult, you have to be responsible for the actions you take, and take ownership for messing stuff up, but rather than focusing up on what you messed up, flipping it around and looking for ways you might potentially fix it in the future, or prevent it in the future.
One of the biggest things that I've learned since being diagnosed with diabetes is that you simply can't control for every situation, you must deal with things as they come up for you, you have to make sure that you keep your face forward and try to stay motivated to do better for yourself, not for anyone else. The phrase "you have no one but yourself to blame" may apply to some things, but not a disease that literally removes the proper function of one of your vital internal organs. Trying to mock the function of the pancreas is a nearly impossible thing to do, just ask a researcher doing diabetes research exactly how it works, and watch their minds explode, no one knows everything, and we are just doing what we can, day-to-day.